PART TWO... of “Is that the answer???”
In part one, I “painted” you a few pictures of a couple situations I have come up against lately... ones that don’t have simple answers... some of them where you wonder whether the answer is right or not... ...wondering if our “help” is really helping... God has a heart for justice... for the needy... Do we share our Father’s heart? Do we know how to live out His heart where God has placed us, whether in Canada, USA or Bolivia?
Here are a couple other “pictures” I wanted to share with you...
PICTURE FOUR: A week ago, Nela came to talk to me… She’s been having a lot of problems with Junior… her 7 year old son. He’s been showing up hours late after school… or just not coming home… His god-mother puts him on the bus after school… but he’ll get off and go somewhere else… This is the same kid who used to have one of the greatest smiles… the kid who always used to love his mom and sisters… and help out in any way… who seemed so happy and content to be with his mom…
Nela has three children… Junior - 7… Yojaira – 3 and María Nela – 10 months. Nela escaped from María Nela’s father in February when he was drinking a lot… and hit her…
At the time they were living out in the country where Jorge (the father) had work…
Nela found a job that she thought was “just right”… a job where she could still have most of the day to look after her kids and come to El Jordan for her classes… The bakery where she works also gives her a place to stay… She gets up at 4 a.m. to count out and prepare the bread orders… She delivers half of them… She was supposed to be done by 9 in the morning. …but the cleaning lady/cook quit… so now Nela is expected to do that too…
How can she work and take care of her kids? She leaves them sleeping… and when they wake up, Junior takes care of them… the 7 year old has to change and give Maria Nela her bottle… find breakfast for Yojaira and himself… Nela gets home but can’t help Junior with his homework because she has to clean, get lunch ready and the boss’ two nephews off to school…
Nela is at a breaking point… she snaps at her kids… and pulls them here and there… and then she has to get up at 4 the next morning to do the same thing over again… and when Junior wakes up, mom isn’t there… and he has to be the “dad”… ...and instead of coming home after school he goes to his grandma’s house or finds a park to wander around in…
What is the answer? Nela asked about putting Junior into a kids’ home… I don’t think that’s the answer… Will a sensitive little 7 year old boy in a boys’ home with another 30 to 80 little boys get the attention he needs and craves? Will he learn better habits? …or will he be “befriended” by an older boy with bad intentions – of teaching the more innocent ideas of escaping, disobedience or worse?
Nela must have read my face as these thoughts raced through my head… tears came to her eyes and said that there was another option. Jorge followed her back to the city and found a job at the same bakery, hoping and wanting to get back together with Nela… Jorge tells her to quit working... to let him work and take care of the family... and that she just look after their room and the kids...
Is that the answer? Nela needs to work to be able to provide for her kids... but when she works, the kids get neglected. Does she get rid of her kids and keep her job? ...or does she give up her job, keep her kids and get back together with a man who has never proven himself responsible? What can Nela do? How can we help Nela? What would Jesus do?
PICTURE FIVE: José Miguel is 14 years old... When his mom couldn’t raise him anymore, she sent him to the city – to live with his dad. BUT... the dad is an alcoholic... along with the uncles... and aunts... and grandpa... The dad sometimes comes home... sometimes not... The household problem is compounded by drug abuse, fights, promiscuity and incest. No one cared enough to register José Miguel in school last year... What will happen to José Miguel in that environment?
Cristian, another 14 year old, not from the streets... but his mom has always sold juice or hot dogs, from early until late, in the park that is known for being overrun by drugs, delinquency and prostitution. He lives in a half built apartment building that is a storage place for the carts and thermoses of the people who sell on the streets... but doubles as “home” for quite few families who live with plastic on the windows and sheets in the holes where the doors should be... Cristian is growing up without his dad... and although his mom and two sisters have tried to “keep him in line”, he has the “freedom” to wander in the park... market... and with questionable friends... Last year his mom was at her wits end with Cristian not wanting to go to school... do his homework... and obey his mom... One little push and Cristian will be lost to delinquency... and the streets...
Christian – “with an H” just started coming to El Jordán when my dad taught a short class in March. He says he is 17 years old... but I think he must be about 14... He has kind of “wandered” since he was 7 years old... but has actually only completely been on the streets for about 5 months... He is now sleeping at a shelter for street kids... and during the day is at a program also for street kids... Unfortunately, they are places more concerned with getting them off the streets... but they don’t seem to care if the kids still use drugs... bad language etc... Christian’s greatest desire? He would like to one day meet his real father... but he doesn’t know who he is... nor where he lives...
Carlitos and Miguel are 13 and 14 years old... They were too young to remember their dad committing suicide on the streets. Their mom has gotten off the streets and drugs... but is worried that hitting adolescence, they might be tempted to go astray...
José Alejandro – has been tossed back and forth for most of his 13 years of life... He was abandoned by his mom... totally rejected by his step mother... His father unfortunately seems to be more concerned about his own shady dealings... and his girlfriend... rather than trying to keep his family together. José Alejandro is living with his uncle and aunt... but there is resentment and unhappiness that simmer under the surface... He wants the love of his father.
Daniel – is only 10 years old... His mom doesn’t know what to do with him... He has run away a couple times, been caught stealing and lying... He failed school last year... and this year isn’t showing much improvement... He doesn’t like his mom telling him what to do... and has told her that he wants to be a drunk who lives on the streets... Unfortunately, his dad lives out a terrible example in front of them – drinking, doing drugs, stealing, being mean etc, etc...
What is the answer for these kids? What can be done to keep them from making bad choices and ending up on drugs or on the streets?
These boys have been coming to leather class... three of them have a school scholarship through El Jordán to encourage them to study. For two of those, Marco is their “tutor/guardian” – or the adult responsible for them at school because no parents had given up on them... We want to be a Christian influence in these boys’ lives... Is that the answer?
It’s not enough!!! Marco has already been called into the school office 5 times about the boys (in a bit more than a month)... to meet with the principal... the math teacher... the Language teacher... They’ve skipped classes... they are terribly behind in their studies... and on and on... The boys said they didn’t have money for their bus fare or they didn’t understand their homework etc. etc...
Don’t they want to study? I think they do... Are they being rebellious? No... but they’ve never been taught to be responsible, to get up on time and do their homework... maybe no one has ever taken the time to check and see if their homework was done... Maybe they live in one room and the TV is always blasting... and no one thinks or cares to give priority to the kids who need to study... It’s not enough to buy them their school books... a back pack... pencils and pens... It’s not enough to just say “you should study”...
What can we do? Do we just let them go? Do we shrug our shoulders, say we tried... and give up? No!!!
We can’t!!! They are coming to us now! Next year they might not want to come any more... They are kids... they are at an age where if someone takes the time and effort NOW to build into their lives, they have the opportunity to grow straight and strong... If we let them go, like chaff that blows in the wind, I wouldn’t be surprised if they all went bad.
Marco and I have talked about the kids a lot lately... what they need... what we can do... We started asking the boys to come to El Jordan to do their homework... (they go to school in the afternoon)... They got a bit better... but still were very inconsistent...
We started taking them for lunch with us... or making sure they had their lunch and bus money... ...and they are getting better... We help them work through their homework or find someone to help teach them the math we no longer remember! We help them work through their homework or find someone to help teach them the math we no longer remember! On Friday both José Miguel and Cristian were in our library before 9 working on their homework!
I look at these kids... and urgency tightens my chest... NOW is the time to come along side of them!!! They are kids! They need a dad! They need stability! They need God’s love played out in front of them... Who will do it?
I want to bring the boys home with me... We have an extra room... a few of them could fit in there... we could get them on a schedule, doing their homework, a time for fun... We could model what a family is... what marriage is... what a dad is...
But we can’t. Our time and energy is already stretched with El Jordán... If our pet fish and parrot sometimes suffer because of our schedules... what would it be like with adolescent kids? I know we can’t... but that doesn’t erase my desire that these boys have a chance...
Although I try not to dwell on it, I can’t help but remember the boys’ shops we had for those few short months... ...the space we had that allowed us to do more... that allowed the boys’ to feel they had their “own” place... Right now, our boy’s shops seem farther away than ever... When Lord? The place that we have our eye on seems like it would be a wonderful place... but it also seems like a wild dream... and just about impossible... but... God who knows when a little sparrow falls to the ground, knows and loves these boys so much more than we ever could imagine... I do believe that He has the answer...
He is the only one who has an answer for all these different situations... HE is the answer... but He asks US to be His hands and feet here on earth... Jesus came to be our example - so we can walk in His footsteps...
What does that mean for you? What does it mean for me?
What if there was a Christian run bakery that could offer a job for Nela... and still allow her the time to take care of her kids? What if there was some Christian organization that could market Paola’s products? What if someone could come and build a wall around Paola’s house so it would be safer for the women living there? What if there were some Christian families that could take in an adolescent boy or two for a year? ...or more Christian people around to help kids like this with their homework? What if when we saw kids begging or a deaf guy sitting on the curb we didn’t just walk by... What if...
What if we each lived out JESUS here on earth?
Would that be the answer?
I think so.
Thank you for listening... it makes me feel better when I share my heart... Thank you for praying... thank you for those who in a very practical way have helped José Alejandro y Rolando’s situation... (it has helped a LOT)... thank you for each way that you show Jesus’ love right where you are at...
Thanks.
Because HE is faithful,
Corina (for Marco too)