I’ve been trying to figure out where things went wrong... At the end of last year at El Jordan there was an underlying heaviness, not visible to all... but felt by the core group of workers...  At the end of any year we’re all pretty tired - finishing up things, “Christmas on the Streets” etc... but this year it was more than just tiredness... and our two/three week break wasn’t going to solve it...  There was a mixture of things - health issues... family pressures... interpersonal misunderstandings... hard feelings... little things that bothered people that gradually grew into festering sores...  Not pretty.... not what we want for our ministry... and above all... not pleasing to God...

Things came to a head a few days before Christmas – we started trying to unravel the knots to find the root of it all... but for the most part, it had to be put on hold until the new year...

I can’t take responsibility for other people’s responses, actions, attitudes etc... but as the “director” – to a certain extent, it does come back to me... my leadership skills (or deficiencies)... and fault in not dealing with small things in the moment... and allowing things to break down interpersonally.  El Jordan is all about people... about pointing, guiding, walking along side of others towards Truth...  How can we serve and lead if we ourselves are discouraged, frustrated, tired or sick?

In trying to get to the bottom of this, I discovered that I hadn’t properly delegated authority and responsibility to others... I still held a lot of the “cards” but especially with Keiden and having to take some steps back, it left loose ends at El Jordan... an administration weak in “guiding” the team (because I had been there to guide), others burdened with feeling forced into “holding things together” and the list goes on...  the ministry is no longer just “Corina” and a few others... there is the team of childcare volunteers, the dental team, teachers etc – that need to function within our one “El Jordan” team... Because of our growth, change and development... we all have to change and grow as well...

Anyhow... in short... we need your prayers... Last year personally ended on a unpleasant note... discouraged with everything that was happening... wanting to see everyone pulling together and yet in my frustration, hindering the process...

I would like you to pray:

* for wisdom to know how to serve and lead in the way God would want me to...

* for wisdom as Marco shares more of my responsibilities at El Jordan

* for there to be true forgiveness and grace extended between volunteers so that trust and relationships can be built up again...

* for Abraham as he carries a heavier burden in administration/coordination

* that God would refine and purify each of us... so that we would be better prepared to serve Him...  That we wouldn’t give the devil footholds in our lives, service – allowing him to destroy and rob our joy...

Thanks...

Hmm... and that is really only the tip of the iceberg...  At the beginning of the year we always have a day long prayer and planning meeting with Abraham the administrator and another volunteer – who is also on our board...  This year David wasn’t able to come so it was just Abraham and I for the most part... with Marco coming in for the part pertaining to the boys/men...

We were getting close to the end of the meeting when Abraham starting talking about Eulogio and Wilma – our maintenance/cleaning/security family... saying that we shouldn’t hold them back if they need to go...  Their family is growing up fast... they’ve been able to save up for a lot of land... but not to build... If they felt their wages don’t cover their needs as a family and there is a high demand (and good pay) for bricklayers (Eulogio’s original trade), we shouldn’t pressure them to stay...  that kind of made my stomach tighten, thinking about having to fill their shoes with other people... not impossible... but something that would take time, effort etc...

In the end, that was only an introduction to what Abraham really had on his heart...  He, Dolly (his wife) and 4 year old boy still live in one room at his mom’s house... They have been able to put their savings into a lot of land... and have built their house up to the top of the walls...  It has been waiting for its rafters, roof and fine work for over a year... and they aren’t any closer to finishing it...  He was offered a really good paying job before Christmas... Dolly couldn’t understand why he didn’t jump at the opportunity...  One, he didn’t want to leave El Jordán stranded right before Christmas... and he just wasn’t at peace that it was God’s will... BUT... his reality is that he, like Eulogio, has the responsibility as husband, father – leader and provider for their homes...  Unfortunately with how construction costs have soared, they haven’t been able to take care of their family in that way...

SO... that is the situation with Abraham... He hasn’t given a firm date for leaving... and I honestly don’t think he wants to leave... He admitted that it really isn’t about the money (although he gets pressure from his wife)... What he’d really love is to work full time in the church...  So... he wanted me to know that leaving was a possibility – in about 3 months or so (which are fast flying by). 

Then my stomach REALLY felt sick... I didn’t want to even imagine maybe training 3 new workers all at once...  I started thinking about our boys’ project... which also has been on hold because of the prices of everything... that with the holes that were going to be left, we’d be too understaffed to think about expanding...

I had a long talk with Eulogio and Wilma... listening to their frustrations and feelings... Leaving isn’t in their plans...  The reality is, our workers at El Jordan carry a lot of responsibility... A heavy load is hard enough to bear when you feel you have what you need... but when you’re carrying heavy load and your dreams seem farther away than ever, it must get really heavy...

Banks are willing to give loans to small businesses... but a personal loan for construction isn’t as easy to get... plus the interest rates don’t help...

Well...  after the initial shock and fear came a bit of calm... recognizing that the ministry is the Lord’s... At the beginning he brought Renato as our administrator... full of laughter and life... exactly what we needed to motivate and get things up and running...  Then came Abraham... whose love for God and His Word has rooted us deeper in what REALLY matters...  If it is God’s timing for Abraham to move on, it is because He knows what we need (before we do!)...  Selfishly, I hope he can stay... but that is out of my hands... and I know whatever is in God’s plans IS the best...

Marco has stepped in, coordinating more with Abraham... I think there is more openness with Marco than with me... 

We’ve been thinking... that for some of our students who have come full circle – showing responsibility, getting their families together and back in order – we have offered them interest free loans for a lot on the edge of the city... or to help build a room... or put on their roof...  This has come through outside help and our own little revolving fund for small loans...  If we have found ways to help our students with something like a piece of property or building supplies... is there not more of a reason to do the same or more for “our own family” – people who have stuck with us through thick and thin... who for years have served God... us... the needy???

Anyhow... we would like you to pray about this... that if it is God’s will... that there would be a way... that we could be the intermediaries between someone who might be in the position to offer such a loan and our workers... or maybe someone would give to El Jordan specifically for this purpose (a larger revolving loan fund). 

Please pray for us... that we would keep our eyes on Christ... that we’d be led by Him... and that all that we do may be for HIM... ...that we would be drawn together as a team... and truly seek to understand and uplift each other...

In the last couple weeks/months there have been other issues that have come up with our volunteers – health  (Laura Aliaga – our cancer survivor has been having a lot of pain and complications)... financial (Eli – was assaulted after using her bank card for the first time... the service numbers didn’t work and by the time she was able to get to the bank her account was emptied...)   personal/family problems  (6 members of the Gonzales family come as volunteers to El Jordan... just on Thursday they told me that for personal/family reasons, their family could only help at El Jordan until June... this would leave gaps – especially on the children’s floor and for events)...  etc (our reading and writing teacher/lawyer moved to another city for work)... and then of course there are my technological difficulties... with computers, internet, phone, printers etc... sigh...

At the same time, we do see exciting things happening – with some of our families (where both parents are now committed Christians, desiring to lead their families in the narrow way)... new students coming... a renewed commitment to pray for one another... On Friday night we put on a special supper for Father’s Day (here in Bolivia) and 22 husbands came out... we believe God is softening some of their hearts... Pray that we would not let down our guard... that we would continue to trust... and obey...  

Thank you for praying for us... that is the most important gift you can give us... We appreciate you so much... 

God bless you richly...

Lots of love, Corina (for Marco and Keiden)